A SEAL’s Desire Page 11

  A minute later, he lifted her gown up and over her head, then tackled her corset. Soon he had that off, too. Renata was left wearing a thin cotton undergown—a chemise, he thought it was called. She turned again, bringing the blanket with her, and straddled his lap. When she lifted his hands to cover her breasts, they both groaned. Renata shut her eyes, but Greg kept his open, watching her as he caressed her, so turned on by the naked desire on her face, he found it hard to resist tugging up her chemise and taking her right then.

  Soon, he promised himself. For now he took the time to explore her body. Under all those tailored, severe suits she used to wear, she had curves to die for. Greg had imagined those curves endlessly in the last seven and a half months, but the reality was far better. She was warm under his touch. Soft.

  When Renata arched back, Greg lifted one of her breasts to his mouth, suckling it through the thin material of her chemise until her breath sped up. It was Renata who finally tugged the chemise over her head. When she did an interesting maneuver, leaning sideways, shifting her legs and sliding out of her tiny panties, Greg was struck dumb with admiration.

  “Why are you still dressed?” she demanded.

  He had no idea why and commenced to fixing the situation asap. Once naked, the blanket back around them, Renata straddled his lap one more time, but then she shivered.

  Greg took stock of the situation. Body heat would soon fix that problem, but that blanket was going to slide off the minute things got interesting. He lifted Renata, laid her out on the bench seat, covered her with his own body and flicked the blanket over himself.

  “I’ll get you real warm in about thirty seconds,” he promised.

  Renata chuckled. “It’s kind of neat how you do that,” she said.

  “Do what?” Greg began to explore her with kisses, trailing his mouth over the smooth skin of her cheek, jaw, neck and breasts.

  “Move me around.”

  He paused. “Was afraid you wouldn’t like that. You’re pretty independent.”

  “I am,” she said happily. “I just feel so solid all the time. The rock that everyone else braces themselves against.”

  “Maybe I’m a bigger rock. You can brace yourself against me.” Greg wondered who was dependent on her like that. Was she talking about the crew? Fulsom’s constant needs?

  She stilled underneath his touch, and Greg lifted his head to look into her eyes.

  “Really?” Renata asked. “Are you saying I can depend on you?”

  “Haven’t I made that clear?” He kissed her mouth. “That’s what I’m here for. That’s what I was put on this earth to do.” He kept on kissing her, but Renata didn’t move, and when he looked up again, she was watching him.

  “You’re just saying that.”

  “I’m promising you that.” God, she felt good underneath him. He worried he might be crushing her, but feeling every inch of her pressed against every inch of him felt so right he couldn’t bear to think of moving away from her.

  “People aren’t dependable.” But she lifted her hips and moved with him, arched her back so her breasts were in easy reach of his mouth.

  “I am.” He wanted to spend the rest of his life being Renata’s man. If only she’d let him.

  He braced himself with a hand beneath her. Let the other one run the length of her body and back again. This was the shape of the woman he loved. He wished he could show her what was in his heart.

  Greg decided to do his best.

  He took his time with her body, getting to know every inch of it, lavishing attention everywhere until Renata was clinging to him, her fingertips digging into his skin.

  “Greg—” she whispered finally, and he understood what she meant. He shifted between her legs, nudged against her.

  “You sure?” He didn’t know what he’d do if she called things off now. Accede to her wishes, of course—and then die of want.

  In answer, she tugged him closer. Inside her. Greg surged forward and filled her in one long thrust. A ragged breath tore from Renata’s mouth, and he stopped. Her fingers dug into his skin again, their message clear.

  Keep going.

  He’d keep going as long as he could.

  The heat of her was sweet torture as he began to rock against her. With her legs wrapped around his hips, she offered him everything he’d only dreamed of up until now. Greg set about discovering what made her moan and found that Renata responded to him so naturally it was hard to believe they’d never done this together before. Of course, they’d done it a thousand times in his dreams.

  Renata urged him onward, moving with him, pulling him tighter, clinging to him as his pace increased. He was right; they were warm now, and he shrugged the blanket down around his waist.

  When he slowed a little, worried he’d set too fast a pace, Renata gave a frustrated moan that told him all he needed to know. He plunged deeper inside her, and she threw her head back.

  Greg held on, waiting to see if she trusted him enough to fall apart in his arms. She’d cried there, but that was easy compared to taking pleasure. He had a feeling Renata put everyone else first and denied herself most things.

  He’d hang in there as long as he could to make sure that wasn’t how things went this time.

  No man had ever made love to her like this.

  Scratch that. She’d never let any man make love to her like this. Renata’s skin flamed, her heart pounded, she was panting for breath—

  And she never wanted this to end.

  Every touch of Greg’s hands on her body left trails of fire tingling along her skin. If only they could stay like this forever. If only he could be hers.

  I could marry him.

  But she couldn’t. If you loved people, you lost them. If you depended on people, they let you down. Better to keep a distance. Help where you could. Be a force for good in the world. Love was too dangerous. That meant taking a chance that it all got ripped away from you—

  But how could she stop loving Greg now?

  She’d granted him permission to explore her thoroughly, and he was doing just that, breaking down every defense she’d ever erected, his hands and mouth stirring her to increasing desire. Not just for this kind of pleasure—but for the connection it represented.

  When he plunged into her, she’d let out a cry that expressed years of pent-up longing. He fit her perfectly, and every shift of him inside her elicited so much sensation Renata realized how flat her life had been until this moment.

  Greg electrified her, letting loose a whirlwind of feelings she hadn’t known she’d been holding back. And now he was building a want in her that threatened to consume everything. She couldn’t help moving with him, couldn’t help lifting her hips and inviting him farther inside. Couldn’t help wanting it all—

  But if she let go—truly let go—

  She’d be taking the chance that her heart might be broken all over again.

  Renata decided she didn’t care. She wanted this, even if it was momentary. Wanted to feel Greg—become part of him. Wanted to show him everything. Wanted to bare herself—her soul—to him, just for a moment.

  When she cried out the beginning of her release, Greg cried out, too, joining her. Bucking against her. Crushing her to him, their bodies spasming together, their breath catching and letting go, Renata gave into the sensations completely, letting them run their course. Letting Greg know her utterly.

  Afterward, fighting to regain control of her breathing, Greg still sheathed inside her, Renata braced herself for the return of reality. Soon they’d draw apart, and she’d be alone again. At least she’d have the memory of this encounter. For a few minutes at least, she’d forgotten everything else.

  “I love you,” Greg breathed into her ear. “I will always love you.”

  Renata kept silent. She loved him, too, but what did love mean in this world? Love was a prelude to loss. Dependence the prelude to disappointment. She didn’t think she could bear waiting and dreading either outcome with Greg.

&n
bsp; “Renata? Did you hear me?” he asked.

  She nodded. She’d heard.

  Still, she said nothing.

  Chapter Nine

  ‡

  He’d rushed her. Acted like a schoolboy confronting his first crush. Did you hear me? His skin crawled just thinking about the way he’d practically begged Renata to tell him she loved him back.

  It was far too soon. She obviously didn’t remember him from Peru. Hadn’t spent a single moment daydreaming about him the way he’d always dreamed of her. He should have let their time together speak for itself.

  It had sure told him a lot.

  Being with Renata was even better than he’d hoped. She was responsive. At home in her body. She’d given it to him freely, reveling in their closeness. Shattering before him as if she was only too pleased to give him everything.

  And then she’d closed right down again.

  Had he scared her? Did she think he was going to force her to the altar today?

  Hardly.

  Although, time was ticking by.

  Was Renata against marriage?

  Greg drove to Base Camp, neither of them pretending anymore that there’d ever been a real errand in town. Getting Renata back into her gown had been a difficult task with both of them stiff and formal with each other. One step forward, two steps back, Greg thought. He hoped he could still salvage this.

  Renata’s phone buzzed, and she checked in, frowning at something she read on the screen.

  “Problem?” he asked.

  “The usual. Everything’s going wrong.”

  “At Base Camp?”

  She shook her head. “Personal stuff.”

  He waited for her to explain, but she didn’t, and he wasn’t sure it was smart to pry. Besides, they’d reached the turnoff for the long lane that led to the bunkhouse.

  “Renata—”

  “I wanted everything that happened back there to happen,” she cut him off. “That doesn’t mean my life is easy, or that we have a future.”

  She could have sliced him with cold steel, and he would have been less shocked. She’d told him as much before they’d made love. That didn’t make it easier to hear. “Of course we have a future—if you want one.”

  She faced him. “You don’t know me. You don’t know my situation. I think you should get a backup bride. Boone must have found you one by now.”

  Greg swung the truck into the lane and then stopped it. “I don’t want Boone’s backup brides. I want to know why you won’t marry me.”

  “I—I can’t make any promises right now. There’s… something I need to do. To finish. I’m not free until I do.”

  Suspicion filled him. “Are you married?”

  She stared at him. “Married? No, of course not.” She stopped. “I guess in a way I am.”

  Greg’s heart plunged. Hell.

  “Not married to a man. Married to… a promise. I owe somebody something. I have to make good on it. Greg, I’m not ready for this.”

  Her last sentence was so anguished it had to be true. “You’re not ready for marriage.”

  “No. I’m sorry.”

  So was he. More than she could ever know. He didn’t think he could marry someone else after an experience like the one they’d just had.

  “Is there… any chance you could be ready before the month is up?”

  She sighed. “It would take a miracle.”

  “I believe in miracles.” He reached out and took her hand. “I believe in us.”

  She held his gaze a long moment. “I can’t make any promises. You need a backup bride—or two or three.”

  To hell with the backup brides. As far as Greg was concerned, he’d marry Renata or no one—

  Strike that, he realized with a twist of his gut. He couldn’t let everyone else down, so he’d have to marry no matter what.

  He just didn’t want to think about it. Greg started the truck again and drove them down the lane. He wanted to keep trying to change Renata’s mind, but he didn’t want her stubborn streak to kick in. He’d take up his campaign again later.

  “Something is going on,” Renata said, nodding toward a cluster of people at the door to the bunkhouse.

  Greg sighed, parked and got out.

  “Greg, there you are,” Boone called. “There’s a problem with turbine three. It hasn’t shut down like the other ones, and it’s way too windy for it to be running. Jericho’s gone to take a look.”

  “He shouldn’t be doing that.” It was cold. Icy. Windy as hell. Climbing the turbines could be treacherous. There were protective railings, but still, in weather like this…

  Jericho was a new father.

  “Let’s talk more later,” he added to Renata, who had just pulled out her phone.

  “I’ll find you a bride if you don’t like the ones Boone’s got,” she told him.

  “Renata—” Greg gave up. One emergency at a time, he told himself.

  “It’s just one thing after another,” Mayra said when Renata took her call. With everyone else, including the camera crews, distracted by the problem with the wind turbine, she had been able to slip inside the bunkhouse and answer it without a camera crew following her.

  “What happened?” She braced herself. With each call she was getting further in the hole financially.

  “Philomena’s scholarship fell through. The company that sponsored it has declared bankruptcy. I know this isn’t your responsibility. You aren’t supposed to pay for them after they graduate, but she’s worked so hard, and there’s no guarantee she can find another one quickly enough to keep her spot in the program.”

  “Of course I’ll pay,” Renata said. She wasn’t about to deny Philomena her chance at a very prestigious business program in the capital. “How much?”

  The sum wasn’t large compared to the cost of getting a similar degree in the States, but Renata cringed just the same. It was all adding up. All making it impossible for her to marry Greg—

  And she might… just might… want to marry him, she admitted.

  “Renata? If it’s too much, just say so. There must be a limit even to your wealth,” Mayra said.

  If only she knew. “It’s not too much,” she forced herself to say. “I’ll send the money as soon as I can.”

  “Soon, if you don’t mind. The payment is due.”

  “I’ll get it to you.” And that would be the last of her cash. She had no idea what she would do next.

  Best not to overthink it. Renata slipped outside and joined the rest of the group, which had moved to the back of the bunkhouse, the better to see Jericho and Greg’s progress with the wind turbine, one of three they’d installed months ago to help power their community. Their turbines weren’t nearly as huge as the big ones you saw on windfarms, but they were tall enough she had to tilt her head back to see the top.

  “I don’t think either of them should be anywhere near that thing,” Riley murmured when Renata approached. “This wind is crazy. They could get hurt.”

  “They’ve got to get it turned off,” Avery said. “Otherwise it could break.”

  “We can replace a turbine. We can’t replace a person,” Riley countered.

  Renata’s breath caught when she looked up and took in Greg high on the turbine’s ladder. Jericho was on the ground beneath him. Greg seemed to be fiddling with a panel at the top, trying to open it and get at whatever was inside. Renata supposed she should know more about turbines by now, but the truth was mechanical things had never interested her. She was far more fascinated by people and relationships.

  “They’re all programmed to stop when it gets crazy like this,” Riley said. “You aren’t supposed to have to go near them in a storm.”

  “I should be up there,” Jericho said, coming over to them, his hands on his hips. “I’m in charge of the energy system.”

  “Think of Savannah and baby Jacob!”

  “It’s just as dangerous for Greg as it is for me.”

  Renata had to agree with Jericho. Greg
was much too high. The wind was gusting much too hard. In the truck the gusts had added to the excitement of making love to him. Now her heart was in her mouth.

  “He’s coming down!” Avery cried.

  Renata held her breath until his feet were on the ground, but her relief was short-lived when he approached Jericho. “Something’s overridden the system. I can’t get the failsafe to kick in. Any ideas?”

  The two men conferred surrounded by a camera crew. Clem hung back, his arms folded over his chest, wrapped in a heavy winter coat and a ridiculous knit cap that he probably thought made him hip but instead made him look old.

  He had something to do with this, Renata realized. He wouldn’t look half so satisfied if he didn’t.

  “Greg!” Renata shouted through the wind as he turned to head back to the turbine. She hurried to catch up to him. “It’s another attack. It’s Clem; it has to be.”

  “I know.” Greg bent down and brushed a kiss over her lips. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

  Easy for him to say.

  Renata couldn’t bear to watch. Instead, she hurried into the bunkhouse and called Fulsom. This had to stop.

  “Martin Fulsom’s office. May I help you?”

  “Patch me through to him, please, Julie. Now.” She didn’t have time to play games.

  She breathed a thank-you to the powers that controlled such things when Fulsom came on the line. Greg’s kiss still tingled on her lips. Maybe she wasn’t going to get to marry him, but she loved him. She couldn’t let Clem put people in danger like this.

  “What’s the problem, Ludlow?”

  “Clem’s the problem. He’s trying to get someone killed.” She ran down the facts, knowing Fulsom wouldn’t want to hear any editorializing.

  “He told you he messed with the turbine?”

  “He didn’t have to. It’s obvious. The man’s a menace, and he won’t stop until someone dies. Do you want that on your conscience?”

  “Bailey doesn’t want to kill anyone.”

  Renata wasn’t having it. “He hates me, and he’ll do anything he can to keep that job—”